Uncovering Happiness: A Journey of Self-Exploration and Growth
Ten years ago, I found myself nestled in a hut in Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village, seeking solace from the chaos of my over-entertained, safety-seeking existence as a 20-something. It was there, amidst the tranquillity of that sanctuary, that I stumbled upon a transformative book called "Happiness" by Matthieu Ricard. Ricard's perspective on happiness being a skill, one that could be cultivated and developed, sparked a curiosity within me. He wrote, “One is not born wise; one becomes it,” prompting me to ponder whether happiness could be acquired in a similar manner to wisdom.
This notion challenged prevalent beliefs that the pursuit of happiness was futile, suggesting instead that through intentional effort, we could actively create more happiness in our lives. William James captured this sentiment aptly with his assertion, “Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” Thus began my journey of exploration into the realms of happiness and self-discovery.
I delved into the question of why some individuals exuded perpetual happiness, freedom, and contentment while others seemed perennially dissatisfied. It dawned on me that perhaps my own discontent stemmed from a lack of authentic exploration. While I had traversed over 50 countries in pursuit of external experiences, I had neglected the inner landscapes of my own being. Perhaps, I mused, true exploration involved not only venturing outward but also delving inward—cultivating a deeper understanding of our internal worlds to influence our external realities.
Carl Jung's assertion that “suffering comes from our failure to understand and feel the unseen and unheard parts of our psyches” struck a chord within me. It became evident that incessant busyness and perpetual distraction hindered our ability to sit with our emotions, robbing us of the clarity and enjoyment that life had to offer amidst its flux and uncertainty.
In questioning the essence of exploration, I pondered whether it commenced not in movement and outward seeking, but in stillness and introspection. Epictetus's wisdom resonated deeply: “We suffer because we fail to distinguish what is in our control and what is not.” Could cultivating stillness and embracing discomfort pave the path to genuine happiness, untethered from the caprices of external circumstances?
Embracing a spirit of playfulness and curiosity emerged as a salient theme in my quest for happiness. I reflected on how rigidity and the incessant pursuit of productivity stifled joy and creativity in my life. Rediscovering the art of play, devoid of agendas or expectations, offered a newfound sense of liberation—a return to the unadulterated enjoyment of existence.
My encounters with individuals like Lou, an octogenarian tennis enthusiast who epitomized vitality and zest for life, underscored the importance of lifelong learning, positive relationships, and above all, playfulness. Lou's ingenuity in adapting to challenges during the pandemic exemplified the transformative power of creativity and play in fostering resilience and joy.
In my pursuit of happiness, the second pillar I encountered was self-knowledge. Pythagoras's aphorism, “No one is free who has not obtained the empire of himself,” highlighted the imperative of self-mastery in attaining true freedom and fulfilment. Aristotle's timeless wisdom echoed this sentiment: “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Only by delving into the intricacies of our being could we transcend the shackles of external validation and find solace in our intrinsic worth.
Benjamin Franklin's admonition to “Observe all men; thyself most” underscored the necessity of turning our gaze inward, cultivating a deep-seated awareness of our thoughts, emotions, and desires. By fostering a strong internal locus of control, we could navigate life's vicissitudes with grace and resilience.
Meaning emerged as the third pillar in my pursuit of happiness—a beacon guiding me towards fulfilment in the present moment rather than elusive future pursuits. Recognizing the interconnectedness of exploration, self-knowledge, and meaning, I found solace in the realization that joy was not contingent upon external achievements but permeated every facet of existence when grounded in purpose and authenticity.
The Dalai Lama's injunction to “practice compassion” resonated deeply, underscoring the transformative power of kindness and gratitude in fostering connection and well-being. Simple acts of kindness, such as watering a metaphorical flower through heartfelt compliments or expressions of appreciation, served as potent catalysts for personal and collective growth.
Finally, the fourth pillar of presence encapsulated the culmination of my journey—a return to the simplicity and serenity of the present moment. In cultivating mindfulness and embracing stillness, I discovered a profound sense of aliveness and contentment that transcended the chaos of modern life.
As I reflect on my journey towards happiness, I am reminded of the words of Thich Nhat Hanh: “If you want to be happy, be.” Happiness, I have come to realize, is not a destination to be reached but a journey to be embraced—one that unfolds with each mindful breath and every act of kindness. In the words of Rumi, “The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” May we all heed the call to silence the clamour of our minds and embrace the richness of the present moment, for therein lies the true essence of happiness.
I invite you to embark on your own journey of self-exploration and growth, guided by the principles of exploration, self-knowledge, meaning, and presence. Together, let us cultivate a world where happiness is not merely a fleeting pursuit but a steadfast companion on the winding path of life.
Thank you for joining me on this odyssey of discovery. May you find joy, peace, and fulfilment in every step of your journey.
With gratitude,
Evan Sutter